My favorite part about this weekend was seeing the pure excitement in my husband’s eyes at even the smallest moment. Getting out the camp stove, pouring fresh hot chocolate while we sat in the dark watching the dogs play, climbing a few boulders, watching me fall in a stream, exploring new trails – all things that lit up his eyes in a way that made my heart sing. Especially when he said “I feel like I’m galloping like a cantaloupe.” Not-so-obviously meaning antelope… the animal…
Being from Alaska, having hot cocoa from the boiling water on the camp stove or climbing some boulders is a relatively normal thing. Weeklong camping trips were a bi-annual (at least) event in my family. My heart feels at home in the woods.
Seeing Tyler find that sense of “home” in his heart at almost 27 years old showed me a sense of child-like wonder in him that I’d only seen on our first trip to Alaska, as he watched an immature female bald eagle on the beach in Ninilchik, for hours.
We started at Little Stony Man, mile 39.1 of Skyline Drive. The fog was thick, the air was wet and the dogs were even more wet. We came across quite a few viewpoints, all of which were blanketed with fog. I was disappointed in the lack of view for the first few seconds then I thought…
If I go stand on top of that rock, I’ll be able to look out and imagine my OWN view.
While it was a little difficult to imagine a view where I couldn’t see so much as the edge of the granite rock-face as I stood on top of a slippery rock, I was uncontrollably happy up there. The view on the horizon was a blanket of fog, but the view on the other side was much, much better. My (perfect) husband and the two most annoying, only sometimes well-behaved, mud-covered, cool fur-covered babies.
AND, those three beings in the mountains with me?! I couldn’t be luckier.
The past few months have been hard for me. I was sexually harassed for the second time in ONE year at work. It smacked me in the face and reminded me of how much I don’t want to be here (my current workplace/the military as a whole). I’ve struggled with feeling like I don’t belong. For so long, I’ve felt like my personality—the fire in my soul, has been smothered by work. I feel like I can’t be “me” when I’m there.
When I came across this small waterfall on our first hike of the weekend, I was reminded of a time when my mom and I jumped into an icy waterfall. It was May 28, 2011 and I had just learned of the passing of a close friend. We came across the waterfall on a bike trip and we jumped in. Why? Because we are ALIVE and sometimes, I think we need a reminder.
This dampened version of myself has been taking over my happiness for too long… jumping in THIS waterfall felt like a hard reset that I desperately needed to remind myself that I was put on this planet to LIVE my damn life and nothing and no one can take that from me.
I was cold and wet… the air was cold and wet. But I wasn’t done. The mountains give me this incredible sense of adventure that I didn’t know I had. There was this incredible granite face near the end of the trail. Once again, I looked up and thought to myself “wow, I want to be there.” I handed Kaya’s leash to Tyler and said, “I’m going up.”
I got about halfway to where I wanted to be and started to talk myself out of it. These rocks are slippery, the algae growing on them is making them even more slick… oh, and how the fuck am I going to get down?!?! In the mountains, I’m reminded that I have the strength to push PAST my limits. I only went up a few more steps and didn’t get to the shelf I wanted to be at but… dammit, I made it up further than I would have a month ago. A month ago, I wouldn’t have tried at all.
Tyler and I completed a second hike that evening, sans puppies, to give Kaya’s leg (for those of you who don’t know, she has Hypertrophic Osteodystrophy in her leg) some rest. Bearfence Mountain was a short, 1-mile roundtrip with a few fun boulder scrambles. Again, no view… but I was perfectly content.
Back at our cabin, we made a cheese board (freaking YUM!!!) and attempted to play Monopoly, Cheaters Edition! But, clearly… Kaya had other plans.
Brats and baked beans on the camp stove, followed by Hot Cocoa and Apple Cider on the lawn while the Kaya played and Oakley walked around peeing on bushes.
In the morning, we had bagels and coffee while the sun came up. We packed for our next hike and headed out. I took a long look at Hemlock cabin before we drove away because this little cabin will always hold a place in my heart as the first weekend camping/cabin trip for my little family.
Little Devil Stairs (5.6-mile loop) was an AWESOME hike. The entire first portion climbed up the path of the creek through the valley. It was… quite literally, devilish granite stairs. There wasn’t a “top” viewpoint, but the granite walls throughout the valley were beautiful. Snapped this awesome shot of my incredibly-handsome hubby!
Kaya’s confidence was tested on a few water crossings, but she made it to the top all the same! Oakley might as well be a rock-climbin’ dog (who always manages to find himself covered in ticks). All in all, this weekend was the best we’ve had in a long time.
I will choose mountains for the rest of my life because they show me a version of myself that is increasingly confident and craves adventure. The mountains have showed me the “me” who is unapologetically true to herself.